November 19th
Today, I started raking some of the trails. I am making piles that the kids can jump in later when I get them big enough for that kind of fun. I loaned the twins my book 1 of Harry Potter, I hope they enjoy it. I trained some more with Mom and my Jo staff. I hope to one day turn it into something called a Wonder.
I tried to do the Rite of Consecration at a distance on a tree. Not much changed. There wasn't really anything negative about it. Now it is just extra Quintessent and sacred? I get the feeling that I won;t be practicing this in this HR. I don;t want anyone doing dark things here just so I can practice cleansing them. Maybe I will talk to Dad about that later, and see if he knows how to practice that safely or if he can help me learn it. Or... maybe I am being totally stupid and it is just not something that can actually be dine at a distance.
Well, so far that has meant practicing sensing and seeing with Forces and Prime and Spirit lots everywhere. I am almost bored with this aspect. I think next weekend I will go to more energetic places and do all my sensing there to see what I get.
Today is Day 1 of working on Root Chakra and the first Bushido Virtue of Gi (Integrity). That means lots of grounding and earthy stuff....
I wore black pants and a brown sweater and a red scarf. There are my root chakra colors. I focused much of my martial katas and practice on my legs and did a great deal of deep grounding exercises. Oh! And I moved more rocks. I built a stone cairn not far from my Momiji tree and some smaller ones as trail markers for the kids. I dug out of my trunk my hematite stone, jet stone, and my red jasper from my lithomancy kit. I set those on my little bamboo table in the ritual space to work with later. I went back and decided to keep them in my pocket instead. Hematite: grounding and protection, warrior's stone, survival, law & judgment. Red Jasper: grounding and courage, security and stability, drive away evil spirits (well... either the stone doesn't work or there are no actual evil spirits in our HR). Jet: grounding, delving into the mystery for wisdom, healing the damaged soul. By lunch, I put the hematite and jasper back on the bamboo table, but decided to carry the jet stone throughout the day. I collected moss and added it to my rocky garden space i created near the Momiji tree. My tea that I drank throughout the day was a black tea, an earl grey that was heavy on the bergamot and the vanilla, weighed down with cream too. I good grounding tea for me. Often Lapsang Soochong is recommended.... but it tastes like licking a fouled peat bog, no thanks. That would not inspire safety, comfort, or grounding to me. I did eat more heavily today. Good stick to the ribs oatmeal with nuts and red berries. Lunch was a meat sandwich with a grainy bread that I actually struggled to make myself in the morning. It turned out lumpy and very heavy, but also very edible. I hope others like bread. I need not be worried about having a heavy dinner. Dad cooks, so it will be meaty and full of vegetables. I asked for red meat, root veggies and potatoes. I think he started a stew my the smells of things. MMmmm hearty beef and barley stew. Perfect for the root chakra. Thank you Dad! My snacks thru the day have been cranberry almost granola bars smeared with peanut butter.
I should have started this last week. Just making this my focus today has helped me feel so much more ... me... and at home.
Tonight, I will consider the questions and rights related to the root chakra. Not right now, tho.
Today's mantra has been the Bushido Virtue of Gi, Integrity. Integrity is about being true to yourself, living who you are, walking your talk. Sticking to the commitments and decisions we have made. What is mine? I am a HEALER, not a killer. I won't step off that path again. That is how I can be respected and trusted by others. That is how I can respect myself. So, what exactly my mantra?
I live my life with integrity. I will remain always true to myself.
After dinner, it was VERY dark out as the moon is still mostly dark. I am not afraid of the dark, especially not here. But it did give me a perfect opportunity to practice Seeing in the Dark. WOOHOO! I can SEE IN THE DARK! Hehehe... I have elfy eyes... or cat eyes... however you want to DnD call it. It was a very simple Rite of Night Vision with Forces.
Once back in my hut, I sat in my ritual space and thot how it would be interesting to share this with Levi. I bet he would be fascinated. I do a firm mental strikethru that I need to stop crushing on what is not and never will be there. I did hand him a cup of the tea. Let him wonder. Otherwise, I shake it out and STOMP STOMP STOMP about the tatami mats. Yes, stomping helps ground and shake thinks off. Tonight's focus is the Root Chakra Right to BE, Right to Exist. Also, to address what blocks this chakra: fear.
I HAVE THE RIGHT TO EXIST!
I HAVE THE RIGHT TO JUST BE!
What am I afraid of? Lots of things. Recent events tho have shown me that I am more afraid of losing myself, of no longer being me. That is by far my greatest fear.
INTEGRITY
I HAVE THE RIGHT TO BE ME!
I HAVE THE RIGHT TO EXIST!
Integrity. I commit to being true to myself. By doing this, I manage this fear.
I sit with the jet stone between my hands. Healing the damaged soul. I recognize and accept that my soul has been damaged and I am on a path of recovery. I sip my tea and find comfort in the familiar. I like to call this tea a warm hug in a mug. Lastly, after I breathe and absorb what I have done today, I journal it all. My pen is a mat black Jinhao x750 on and my ink is a dark red (Diamine Red Dragon).
I have the right to be me and to live with integrity.
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