Later Monday, November 7th
After getting everything we could immediately rush into the Sanctuary from the apartment, I spent a great deal of time in Mum's Teahouse. I could have done the same in my own place, but it was packed to the rafters with both my and Levi's stuff.
Dad came to give me a very Dad-like hug. He is sympathetic. I think he knows too well what this experience is like. I love his groundedness and his gentle push to think about what I want to do in the coming future, then he gave me space and helped Levi move his stuff from my tiny place up into the big house.
I feel uprooted. And I must further uproot. But, I also feel honorably obliged to tie up the loose things in my life. Closure is important to me. So is not leaving people hanging who might be depending on me to save other people's lives.
I am an EMT serving both the Paramedics at the GLEN and serving Concordia. In another few months, I would have accumulated enough service hours to apply for Paramedic training and licensing. I am pretty sure I can do with Life Magic what a Paramedic does, maybe more. So losing that opportunity is not the end of the world. However, II wrote up my letters of resignation to both entities. Popped every so briefly into the mundane world to send those off and to stick a note in the apartment for Enke about vacating the place.
My thesis for graduation is so close to being done. It just needs a last edit. I sent word to Concordia that I intend to maintain my graduation this semester, but will not attend the ceremony. I told them to hang onto my Graduation certificate as I will pick it up in person whenever I am next able to. I then locked myself in my place in the Sanctuary to do those last edits. A note on my door saying:
THESIS WRITING
DISTURB AND DIE
I took a break long enough and early enough to hate my cluttered space and to tie up one last loose end. I stepped thru to the apartment, looked wistfully at my favorite larger furnishings, then refocused. BANK. I headed to the nearby bank and literally emptied my account of all its funds. I forgot I had so much in there. I told them I was buying a big expensive vehicle and wanted to pay in cash for a better deal from the dealer. Apparently that is a normal thing to do as the teller nodded knowingly at me and wished me luck.
I took ONE serious risk...
A fast trip to the paper supply store whereby I bought a BUNCH of notebooks I liked the feel of, some I thought Levi would like with leather covers, a dozen or more fountain pens including a their $5k Urushi they usually only have for show because who in their right mind buys a pen at that price? Me apparently. And about 30 bottles of ink. I should be set for a while.
I dropped it all off in my Sanctuary house... that still looked like chaos. Nope. I cannot... CANNOT... handle this clutter. So ya, one way or another, I intended to fight my larger furnishings thru the portal. They came into the house, they bloody well can make it out. It took a great deal of manly grunting, physical strength, and screaming curses. I felt much better after that.
I felt even more stable and focused once I organized things again and plowed through more of my thesis edits. It was well past midnight. I crossed to the dojo and out into Terra Perma to email off my thesis for the last time and note the resignation acceptances.
When I came back, I was exhausted. Mentally, emotionally, physically, spiritually... exhausted. I felt a mix of numb and empty... and very very tired. I collapsed on my futon and snuggled Brighid till I slept.
